**Pre Note Note**
I am working towards setting up my own website of astrology and advice for the New Year and hope that by February, you will be enjoying a new set-up with me! Feel free to send me some love questions!
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Dear Rabbits of the Four Corners,
This time around I am writing the letter first, trying so hard to pull myself back into the cosmos. My best friend (who is the Prince of Pluto) taught me once that we are never lost from our orbit. But, one cannot help feeling lost. Or let go. It’s the crux of a painful season for many of us. We’ve survived the open wound of the holidays and the darkest night of the year. I try to remember that the light keeps coming on more and more (one day at a time).
I’m listening to Mazzy Star, keeper of the softest hearts, (Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star is a Cancer which makes every sense there is) and sucking up WIFI at the Brighton Beach Starbucks. A weirder Starbucks more full of criminal Russian elements there never was! Why I just stole a bottle of juice.
This is the year of the blue wooden goat. I don’t know about you but I’ve never known a year to have a color. I’m glad it’s blue because I’ve been blue for years. The goat is gregarious, gets things done in her own way: steady with faith. I’ve heard that the only way to receive the treasures of this universe is to stay open so I’m trying and I hope you are too. In that spirit, I am sending the goat’s fortitude in your direction. And her grace.
With Blue Love and Dark Light,
When we were young things, we obsessed freely. We bought one cd and, lying in our secret beds, listened to it on loop until it was useless. Posters of our idols covered our walls and the names of crushes filled up our notebooks. We bent the spines of books over and over like tireless lovers, committing their bodies to memory. It’s harder now to love that way. Our attention is stretched so thin and we know too much about the nature of beauty, its limitations. What can you do, at this age, with such an ardent heart? This month, think about obsession like a wand of honey dripping into the cup of your life: sweet in small doses, overwhelming in large ones and sticky when it spills over into the wrong places. The opening of a new year is a great time to begin moving steadily towards what moves you. Romance ideas and lovers alike, Aquarius. Drip a little honey at a time until it tastes just right.
“Everyone is mad at me but I’m just telling the truth,” my mother, the Capricorn, has more than once complained to me. Despite feeling like a broken record, I have each time replied: “No one needs your truth. They have their own.” With Mars knocking on your door after leaving Capricorn’s house, it might be a good time to evaluate how you connect with others. Mars’s bold energy might have you wanting to tell everyone exactly what you think of them and why but, Pisces, rein that impulse in. There are few souls in this world that can hold two truths in their hearts. If you’re weighed down by your perceptions, Pisces, if your disillusionment is a heavy brass ring around your neck, consider the benefit of transforming your truth into your compassion. Start with love, start with listening. Then be firm and gentle when it’s your turn to speak.
Did last month near wipe you out? Capricorn’s work ethic mixed with your drive must have had you working harder than anyone likes to work in the holiday season. Well, with Mars sliding into Pisces in the middle of this month, you might find you can breathe a little easier. Don’t get me wrong; the work keeps coming on, as it must. But, you have never been afraid of a little work have you Aries? No. Work keeps you moving, keeps you alive. What brings you down is tedious drudgery. Well, get ready for the influence of Pisces’s cosmic consciousness! You’ve done the legwork and now it’s time to dream, to complicate, and make new what has felt stuck and stagnant. The pleasure you will find from this creative time will give you a great balm for whatever ails you. Keep yourself open to visions, Sweet One. This is a world that refuses to give up on you, no matter how tired your body, how bad your hand or how broken your heart.
The bull runs again in my heart, Taurus. How wide is the sky where you are? How open is that field? I want to run with you until running is a kind of flying. I want to roll in the dark grass of our sadness until it is just a small indent in the earth—something we can walk away from. Want, I have found, is only half the journey. We must, unfortunately, make room for seeing what we have and what can be salvaged thereof. This month, air elements will surround you with their influence and you will feel (what relief) diplomacy and peace where you once felt a burning hole in your chest. This month, you might find yourself in service to beauty, a work you find safety and comfort it. Just be careful that you don’t retreat so far into the diplomatic recesses of your mind that you forget your body with its beautiful desires. Always there, that want you feel is as essential as logic and twenty times more powerful.
There is nothing sure in this world, my Twin Star. I want to write that you’re “practically another person,” but that’s not right. You’ve been journeying toward your truest self and the closer you get the harder the walking becomes. Personal journeys are never easy but transformations take energy, the kind of energy you’ve got less and less of. Thankfully, this month Mercury (your planet) slips softly into methodical Capricorn and you might find yourself with a little more time. For two weeks Mercury will move slow and direct in the sky, and you can feel free to do the same—being careful with your actions and agreements. You might find yourself re-thinking your relationships, re-evaluating your work, re-tracing the steps that got you where you are. This behavior will fit hand in glove with Mercury’s retrograde motion at the end of the month. Twin Star, the trick now is to look forward and act like you’re sure you’re where you should be. The rest will come.
Soft bright heart, what could non-individual success mean to you? The whole working with the help of its parts: one red kite, paper, string, and sticks, rising as if weightless in the air. What does the whole look like for you? Perhaps it looks like your family or maybe your workspace. Perhaps it’s a non-traditional relationship. However you define it, this month will ask you to surrender to it, to find pride and relief in working toward something bigger and beyond yourself. This might require a little divinity, a little more faith than you have on hand. It’s your challenge to find more, to press the most vulnerable parts of you against whatever difficulties come. Just think about how January opened: the moon full in Cancer. It filled your heart with more than you thought you could bear but you’re here, unbreakable. The moon is light and darkness, consort to the sun and the sea. If faith is transferrable from one star to another, then I want you know I have faith in you.
Not many people know that there are days you have trouble speaking. Words come, but they’re not the words you want, not the ones you intended. You want people to perceive the nurturer in you, but not so much that they use you. It’s a tough balancing act and your soft secret self gets tired, resentful, retreats. It might feel safe in the quiet cave of your solitude but it’s debilitating too, feeling like your lesser self. Loneliness is not for you—no matter how good it sounds. You are not that kind of animal. This is why it’s so hard for you to let go of intimate relationships in your life, even when you perceive their detriment to your wellbeing. It takes so long for you to truly open up, then it’s over. You might ask: what’s all this work for anyway?! It doesn’t matter what it’s for. Losing is ok. Starting over is ok. Solitude is ok. Love is a work no one has made simple. Learn to love the work for how it changes you and teaches you what living is.
Recently I was reading up on ruling planets, as one does. Under Mercury (who rules Virgo and Gemini), I found this description: “Virgos take control of their world by establishing hierarchies that they alone understand.” I am thinking about this description as we enter the New Year. What hierarchies have you constructed in your life? Have you found yourself unable to communicate your needs because you yourself have set them aside for the sake of something you deemed more valuable? Perhaps this past year has been an emotional roller-coaster for you, and you spent all of winter running from one promising adventure to another. Now that it’s January, you find yourself wondering what you were searching for to begin with. With Mercury still in Capricorn and slipping into retrograde, there’s no better time to figure that out. Start slow, Virgo, start with the parts of yourself you set aside, they’re more valuable than you’ve admitted to yourself.
It’s easy, sometimes, to forget how our hearts work. We get busy; we make plans and get through the day. Whatever stones collect in our throats, we push them down with whiskey or coffee or someone else’s stones, anything we can find. When it comes to our emotions, we are at times wild with our avoidance but avoidance brings us little relief. You can’t, after all, go through life collecting the weight of secret sorrow until you sink into the ground. The ground, that stubborn thing, keeps refusing you. This month, you might be tempted to put mind over matter yet again and, although the planets will support your choice, I encourage choosing otherwise. Use this slow and thoughtful January to spend some time figuring out how to care for whatever wounds you’ve chosen to ignore for the sake of getting through. Let yourself remember the workings of your secret heart, it’s necessary work, it’s the only work that matters.
Scorpio, I write to you and to myself. To every Scorpio I have ever loved and love still. You are my closest witch-sister, the hawk and the phoenix, the scorpion and the snake. You recklessly sacrifice yourself on night’s alter again and again just to feel the pulse of power that lies there. You die and resurrect. You are no more a woman than Christ was a man. There are laws in this universe. There are things we cannot bury beneath the velvet of each other’s bodies. There is a girl inside you whose hand you let go of every time you choose to ignore that. I don’t know who ever taught you that love is enough to save you. It’s not enough. Not unless you start with yourself. Not unless you are the animal that loves you. So be the animal that loves you. Whatever has held you back from being the one you’ve been waiting for—let it go or drown.
This is the year everything falls into place! That feels nice to hear doesn’t it? I wish I could guarantee the truth of that statement—alas I’m not a fortune-teller, just a girl with some clairvoyance in her blood. What I can do, is tell you that this month offers you the chance to make better use of your workspace; make better time of your calendar. All these endless errands and small fights have a way of catching up with you and they don’t serve you. Not the part of you that matters anyway. You’re a dreamer. Perhaps there’s a dream you forgot to aspire to. An opportunity you forgot to give yourself. Are you really so busy or do you keep busy so that you might not have to spend too much time wondering what’s missing? I know you’re a tough critic Archer. I admire that about you. Problem is, you don’t give yourself a chance! Put your tireless determination and work ethic to good use and turn it toward yourself. Take charge of all your rituals; let your life be more again.
How can a sign whose planet (Saturn) influences so many, feel so pressed upon by circumstance beyond her control? The weight of this world wasn’t meant to sit on your shoulders alone. Isn’t a time of great loss the perfect time to love more? Oh Sea-Goat, I don’t think that you feel powerless. All around you there are lovers and friends who come to you easily and without hesitation. Do you let them? You have won the admiration of many with your good and generous presence, your quick full laugh and easy gait. Yet you feel unable to fully trust in the connections you make and it is this distrust that separates you, keeps you isolated and unsure of your best qualities. You are right to be discerning, to hold your secrets close. You are right to wait before you let the right ones in. The only catch is that sometimes you wait too long. Sometimes in the course of all that discerning, you lose your belief in magic, in trusting the good to come to you.
*****I would like to send a special shout out to Katie Jaeger of Angst Cat who is amazing. You should check out the Angst Cat Tumblr here: